Seoul Train

I took a trip recently to Seoul via the KTX, Korea's bullet train. The first thing I noticed was how organized the whole system is. You buy your ticket and then feed it into a machine, just like a subway. So no conductor comes trotting down the aisle saying "Ticket please".

Smart.

Even smarter was that all the seats were assigned. This has always been my beef with VIA Rail back home. We're forced to stand in line for an hour and then mad-rush the train for the window seat. Here, you can show up 5 minutes before the train leaves and you'll be fine. Which I did.

The seats were ultra cushy too which made me wonder what first class was like. Once on our way, I noticed how ridiculously quiet it was in the car. People who spoke were talking in the most hushed whispers, moreso than a library. "You could hear a pin drop" is no longer just a saying, it was a reality. The TV monitor cracked into life and displayed short videos of the rules of the train. One of them was NO LOUD TALKING.

A-ha. Now I understand.

The TV monitor would also periodically display our train speed. I watched as the number climbed and climbed and climbed. At one point, it started rolling over into 290 km/h. The train was shaking like the Millennium Falcon going through an asteroid field. And still the number kept climbing, but slowly, into decimals.

297.3... 297.8...298.2....and so on.

At peak, it reached 301.9 km/h. Outside the window, it looked like a Salvador Dali painting. The trees blurred and the landscape melted like those old "In the Land of Dairy Queen" commercials with the fudge mountains and chocolate rivers cascading amongst the nougat rocks.

How crazy would it be to try peeing in the washroom at this speed - STANDING UP - I thought.

Once it dropped down to a semi-calm 270 km/h, the snack cart came. I decided to have a coffee to shake up my nerves some more. In Korea, I haven't learned the money language, so no matter what they say, I always hand over a 10,000 won bill (a little more than 10 bucks Cdn) and wait for my change. After getting my coffee, I gave my money and the change I got back was 3,000 won. That's it?!? 3,000 won change?!?

It was Train Robbery.

My train robber didn't wear a cowboy hat, red handkerchief or point a six-shooter at me. It was a beautiful Korean woman wearing a smart red-blazer and black skirt combination. The coffee cost me 7,000 won which is 8 dollars Canadian. Great Caesar's Ghost! Even Starbucks would freak at this price! To add insult to injury, the coffee cup was about the size of a medium at Tim Horton's. Wow. All I thought was, never again.

So the KTX arrived in Seoul 3 hours later and my wallet 8 dollars shorter.

Awesome.

I highly recommend being financially sodomized at nearly 300 km/h if you're ever in Korea.

Tell 'em Dan sent you.