L-shaped Women

Walking around Busan, you can't help but notice the staggering beauty of Korean girls. Slim, fashionable and striding along sidewalks in heels that seem ridiculously comfortable to them, regardless of the uneven ground beneath their feet. They're ubiquitous in Busan. Trying to spot one that's even slightly out of shape or flawed in some way takes some doing.

Then along comes the L-shaped Women.

Amongst the Korean Stepford Wives, there stands out elderly ladies who are permanently hunched over. These poor old women, who look no less than 80 years old, are forever folded in half. They look like the old man on the cover of Led Zeppelin 4, minus the bundle of sticks. But they have the wizened features of someone who could dispense limitless knowledge. I think they should be on top of Korean mountains providing sage advice to fearless climbers. Instead, they walk the street, permanently hunched, making eye-contact with the waists of people who walk by.

What have they been carrying for 80 years?!?!?

I feel like I'll see them again one day on a Fox Television episode of "When Yoga Goes Wrong". Needing closure, I asked one of my Korean friends about the L-shaped Women. He told me that it's the result of calcium deficiency (Obviously, he's much smarter than me). With next to no milk and cheese in the Korean diet, this is the possible end result.

To think that the outcome for the myriad of Korean beauties I see are to grow old and take on the form of a Sesame Street character letter is pretty scary. I now think that the "Got Milk?" ads back home got it all wrong. Most of them show some athletically fit, drop-dead gorgeous girl with a milk moustache. I propose a new campaign: Ads that say "Drink Milk...Or Else" and show a picture of an L-shaped Woman.

Or the cover of Led Zeppelin 4, minus the bundle of sticks.